


how far would you go for her (to the end of time, to the end of the earth)

by delinquentprincess



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Based on a song, Bellarke Bingo, Canon Divergence, F/M, i started writing this after 5x08 and just finished now lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 00:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delinquentprincess/pseuds/delinquentprincess
Summary: “Can you bring her back?”“Its complicated.”Bellamy stared at him hard, “What do you mean complicated?”Again, Gabriel seemed hesitant to answer, “I mean that in the process of removing Josephine, Clarke could be lost as well.”aka Bellamy goes into Clarke's mind space to bring her back





	how far would you go for her (to the end of time, to the end of the earth)

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this after 5x08 and just finished it now whoops lol so this is a mix of what i thought would happen with Bellamy getting Clarke back mixed with a little canon.
> 
> I have yet to watch the finale so fingers crossed no one i love dies!!
> 
> This is my first submission for Bellarke Bingo (a challenge on tumblr created by @pawprinterfanfic and @eyessharpweaponshot) i used the trope "Based On A Song" and used several Hadestown songs for ideas.
> 
> (Hadestown is a musical and you should definitely check it out if you haven't already!"
> 
> The songs i used were:  
Wait For Me (for the title)  
Come Home With Me Reprise (both the original cast version and the broadway cast version)  
How Long
> 
> tbh this isn't my best work but its done and i'm posting please enjoy!

“Can you bring her back?”

“Its complicated.”

Bellamy had been dragging Josephine through the woods for hours. Josephine had suffered another seizure and had fallen unconscious. Bellamy had just picked her up to carry her, when he stumbled across his sister, and who he soon learned to be Gabriel. After he explained the situation, Gabriel confirmed Josephine’s fears about the Children of Gabriel – they would cut off Clarke’s head, whether she was still trapped inside or not. But he had said that he could help Bellamy and that was enough to make him follow them. 

Bellamy didn’t trust Gabriel, not at all. The fact that he was a Prime, deserter or not, didn’t help the fact. And Octavia being present… Bellamy’s head was screaming at him to grab Josephine and keep going – despite not having a plan. 

But his heart was telling him this was his only choice. 

Which brought Bellamy here, to a cabin located deeper in the woods – one of Gabriel’s lab depots. Josephine had been strapped down to a cot while Bellamy and Gabriel discussed solutions.

Bellamy stared at him hard, “What do you mean complicated?”

Gabriel hesitated, staring at Josephine, his machines, Octavia, and then back to Bellamy, “I mean I’ve never attempted this before. Its only a theory, and it could have dire consequences.”

Octavia asked before he could, “What do you mean?”

Again, Gabriel seemed hesitant to answer, “I mean that in the process of removing Josephine, Clarke could be lost as well.”

Bellamy released a puff of air, running both hands through his hair. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes and he turned away in attempt to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He’s so close to getting her, only to be faced with the fact that he could lose her again, and this time permanently. This time he would have to lower her body into the ground and say goodbye to her forever. Bellamy turned back around to stare at Clarke’s body and anxiety grew in his chest – he knew he wouldn’t survive losing her again. But if there’s even the slightest chance to get her back…

“But it could work?” He asked, his voice rough with emotion.

Gabriel studied him, “Hypothetically, yes.”

That was all he needed, “Do it.”

Gabriel startled, made eye contact with Octavia, and then moved over to the machines. As he began to hook Josephine up, he spoke at Bellamy, “Before we can even think about removing the chip, Josephine needs to be willing to part with her host. And then, Clarke needs to want to come back.” 

“What do mean Clarke needs to _want_ to come back? Why wouldn’t she want to?” Bellamy struggled to keep his panic at bay.

Gabriel sighed and continued to attach wires to Josephine, “the mind space can be a very harsh place, Clarke could be met with her darkest and cruelest thoughts – taunting her and convincing her that she doesn’t deserve to come back.”

Bellamy blanched at that. His mind went immediately to all that they’ve done together; the battle at the dropship, Mount Weather, the City of Light, Praimfaya, the war between Eligius and Wonkru. The horrors of those events and how they weigh on his mind, he knows they weigh on Clarke’s too. And then his mind shifts to Clarke’s personal grievances against herself; her dad, Wells, Finn, Maya, Lexa, Jasper, leaving him in Polis, Monty and Harper. He could only imagine the torture she was facing as her mind threw every bad decision and mistake she ever made back at her. The fact that she may already have given up terrified him. 

“How do we convince her to come back?” 

Gabriel picked up another head piece, identical to the one he had just hooked up to Josephine, “Someone must enter her mind space, someone who she would return for.”

Bellamy felt his stomach sink, “Madi’s all the way back in Sanctum, and Abby…”

Octavia cut him off with a hand on his shoulder, “Bell, we both know that you are the only person who could do this.”

If Bellamy was being honest with himself, he knew he was going to volunteer as soon as Gabriel said it. It was _Clarke_, and he was Bellamy. Who else was going to convince her to come back? His need to save and protect her returned tenfold when he found out she was alive on Earth; nothing would stop him from saving and protecting her on Sanctum. His soul couldn’t take losing her again. 

Bellamy nodded and laid down on the cot next to Josephine to allow Gabriel to begin his procedure – Octavia hanging close by.

“And if Josephine doesn’t want to leave Clarke?” Octavia asked with an eyebrow raised.

Gabriel finished hooking Bellamy up and turned to his computer, “I will deal with her.”

A few painstaking minutes that felt more like hours ticked by before Gabriel announced that he was ready. Octavia came over and touched Bellamy’s arm, “Bring her home, big brother.”

Bellamy barely had the time to smile before he felt a slight twinge in the back of his neck, and he fell unconscious.

•••

She was in her cell when he found her. He recognized it because of the months he spent in there when they were first on the ring. He memorized every pencil line she put on the walls – only this cell was different. It was full of memories, not dreams. 

She was lying on the floor, looking up at the skylight, staring at the vast expanse of stars – looking younger than he ever remembered. The braid that falls down her back is one he hardly remembers, being present in only their first and last days on Earth (because as far as Bellamy’s concerned, his last day on Earth was the day he left her behind). Clarke doesn’t see him, not at first. Its not until he clears his throat that she sits upright and turns to face him. But instead of the relieved smile he expects from her, he’s met with sadness.

“I knew you’d show up sooner or later,” She says, and he furrows his brows in confusion. “After Wells, I figured it was only a matter of time before I saw you. You’re either here to tell me to get off my ass and keep fighting or,” Clarke looked down at her hands and let out a shaky breath, “my brain is finally failing.”

Bellamy couldn’t do anything but stand there, he was speechless. Clarke didn’t think he was real, just a figment. Clarke looked back up at him and he could see tears swimming in her eyes,

“I kinda hoped you’d look like this,” her smile was bleak, “the beard always made you look like a stranger, never my Bellamy.” 

He rubbed a hand over his jaw, it was _smooth_. He looked down at his clothes and there he stood in his guards’ jacket and beige t-shirt. Bellamy met her eyes as she spoke again.

“I don’t know if I should be glad that its you who’s here when I finally go. Maybe its my brains way of giving me one last shred of hope or the thing that weighs heaviest on my conscious to finally send me over the edge.” 

When he still didn’t respond she took a step towards him, “Why aren’t you saying anything? I think that’s almost worst than you taunting me.” Her smile was practically a grimace. 

And Bellamy, he didn’t know what to say to all of that. His mind was swimming and he may have stopped breathing when Clarke called him _her Bellamy_. So, he said the only thing he could,

“Come home with me.”

Clarke froze, disbelief filled her face as her eyebrows came together. He watched her as she worked through the emotions in her head – tears filled her eyes and her voice was barely a whisper,

“Bellamy? Is that really you?”

Bellamy felt his entire being melt and he had to will himself not to fall apart at the relief he heard in her voice, “yeah, Princess, its me.”

The force and speed in which she flew into his arms would have caught Bellamy off guard, had he not been prepared for it. He wrapped her tightly in his arms and buried his face in the junction between her neck and shoulder; he could feel Clarke grab the back of his jacket with her fists, a light sob escaping past her lips (he couldn’t help but think this was the reunion they deserved back on Earth).

She separated from him, just far enough to look at his face, “How are you here?”

“Gabriel, he brought us to his lab in the woods.” Bellamy explained.

Clarke made a face, “And you trust him?”

“No,” Bellamy shook his head, “but it was the only choice. Plus, Octavia is there, I still have enough faith in her not to let him kill us,” He paused, taking her hands in his, “Now, come home, please. I’m not going home alone.”

“How?” Her voice sounded defeated, and he could see it in her eyes, she was close to giving up.

That just made him more determined. With a slight smile and shrug he said, “We’ll figure it out, together.”

“Are you always this confident?” Clarke grimly teased and Bellamy’s grin grew. Her spirit was still there – that was what mattered in that moment, because if Clarke had her spirit, she had the will to come back.

And that gave Bellamy the confidence to say, “When I look at you I am.”

Clarke’s eye widened, her mouth dropped slightly. She seemed at a loss for words. For how open she was being a moment ago she seemed to crawl into herself, Bellamy could see it when she broke eye contact with him to stare at the surrounding walls. Correction, the _pictures. Her memories_. 

He watched Clarke sadly study each drawing, her jaw working as she held back tears. She didn’t look back at him when she whispered,

“When you look at me, what do you see?”

_Oh._ Bellamy thought. _This was what Gabriel was talking about._ Clarke looked at these walls and all she could see were her mistakes – horrible things she had done. Telling her that she was a monster, that she deserved to be erased. Bellamy wouldn’t stand for it. 

He started softly, but sturdy, making sure that she heard every word and that he meant it, more than anything, “I see someone stronger than me, I see somebody who _survives._”

Clarke let out a small sob and stared at the ground beside them.

“I see my partner,” Bellamy swallowed, “in every sense of the word.”

Clarke’s head snapped towards him. 

“Bellamy…” 

“Clarke.”

She shook her head sadly, a choked laugh making its way out of her throat, “Sometimes I think about how maybe that is how it would have been, if the world was different. If I had made it to the rocket on time.” A tear slipped down her cheek and Bellamy felt his heart crack in two, “but that’s not how it is. No matter how much I want it to.”

He was about to open his mouth, tell her about what had happened. How Echo had left him the night of the party. How he didn’t care what happened to anyone one else as long as she was alive. How she meant _everything_ to him, always had, always will. But he didn’t get the chance.

“Well, isn’t this cozy.” 

Bellamy turned to look over his shoulder to find what he could only assume was Josephine in her original body.

She wore a smirk as she sauntered into the room, crossing her arms and popping a hip as she came to stand in front of them. Bellamy barely noticed Clarke had moved to stand between him and Josephine.

“From the scene in here I’m guessing he’s not just a memory like all your other friends,” Josephine raked her eyes over the two of them, “how the hell did you even get here?”

“Gabriel,” Bellamy answered her.

A series of emotions passed across Josephine’s face, her jaw dropped, and she seemed to struggle for words.

“Gabriel’s alive?” She practically whispered. 

Bellamy only nodded in response. Josephine’s features shifted as she dropped a carefully comprised mask. He no longer could tell what she was feeling other than distain and indifference. 

She directed her next words at Clarke, “He can’t save you; you know. No matter how much you want him to, you’re still going to die. And after you’re dead, I’m going to kill him too.”

Clarke stalked towards her, leaving Bellamy behind in the middle of the room.

“Go to hell.” She sneered.

Josephine raised an eyebrow, almost amused, “Oh, so now you want to fight back? Just a day ago you were ready to throw in the towel. Did I hit a nerve?”

“Just let her go, _please_,” Bellamy begged

Josephine turned her attention to him, “Its no use, time’s almost up.” 

Before Bellamy could ask what she meant, she was gone from the room – disappeared into thin air. The walls around the started to shake, dust falling from the ceiling as if the entire thing would collapse in on itself at any moment.

Clarke looked at him with a sad expression and that’s when Bellamy knew.

They were out of time.

“No, no,” he crossed the room to reach her, taking her face in his hands, “I’m not letting you die!”

Clarke reached up to grab onto his wrists as she brought their foreheads together, “Bellamy…”

“No! You’re not allowed to leave me!”

A few tears slipped down her cheeks and she moved her face in his hands to kiss his palm, “I love you,” it came out as a heartbroken whisper.

Bellamy began to sob openly, “no, please, no, Clarke, I can’t do this without you, not again!”

“It’s okay,” her thumbs wiping at his tears, “let me go.”

A soft, sad smile graced her features as the shaking intensified around them and a bright life filled his vision, engulfing Clarke.

Bellamy sat up with a gasp, Octavia immediately at his side, but Bellamy didn’t pay her any attention all he could focus on was Clarke’s body seizing next to him – black blood dripping out of her nose.

“Please do something!” He sobbed and screamed at Gabriel, “she’s dying!”

Gabriel gave him a pensive, tortured look. But before he could really do anything Clarke’s body opened its eyes. 

Bellamy seized all movements, his hands hovering over her body, “Clarke?”

A cruel grin grew on her face, but her voice was weak “try again.”

Bellamy’s face fell into his hands and he could feel Octavia place her hands of his shoulders in comfort. _Was this it? Was she really gone?_

“Oh, stop being so dramatic, she’s still in here.” Josephine grumbled, face sheen with sweat after her seizure. 

“What will it take for you to leave?” Octavia growled at her.

Josephine sneered, an expression that looked foreign on Clarke’s features, “I’m not going anywhere, I like this body. Either way you lose her – either her mind dies, or this body does, take your pick.”

Octavia lunged for her, but Bellamy caught her just in time. He didn’t care if Josephine was a psychotic bitch – as long as she was in Clarke’s body no one was hurting her. No matter how much his fists shook. 

“What are you playing at, Josie?” Bellamy turned his attention to Gabriel.

“Nice to see you too, Gabe. Glad you’re not dead.” Sarcasm dripped off Josephine’s tongue. 

“Cut the crap Josephine. Let her go.”

“Ouch,” Josephine faked a wince, “you really know how to sweet talk a girl.”

“Enough, let Clarke go.”

Josephine pretended to think it over, “nah.”

Gabriel sighed and crossed his arms. Then he met Bellamy’s eyes and he said something that Bellamy didn’t expect. 

“He loves her, Josie.” 

Bellamy felt his throat grow tight. It wasn’t news to him, of course he loved Clarke. But the fact that Gabriel could call him out so easily – after knowing him for mere hours – made Bellamy feel extremely vulnerable. Was he truly that transparent? And then he remembered what had just happened, the tears still wet on his cheeks, eyes bloodshot, his voice hoarse from screaming. Octavia squeezed his shoulder (_“a traitor, who you love”_). Maybe he was. 

“Well that’s too damn bad.” Josephine squared her jaw.

Gabriel’s voice softened, “He has the kind of love for her that you and I once had.”

Bellamy felt like his entire soul was on display. His heart rate quickened, and he lowered his head, averting his eyes to the floor.

Josephine’s eyes filled with tears, but she furrowed her eyebrows at Gabriel, pursing her lips.

“She means nothing to me.”

Gabriel’s eyes had also filled with tears and he let out a breath of air, “I know, but she means everything to him.”

This time, Josephine let her eyes fall on Bellamy and he raised his gaze to meet hers. And only for this moment did he allow all of his feelings for Clarke to come to the surface – he let all of the fear, and worry, and _love_ for her show in his eyes. Because there was no point in hiding anymore when everything that Gabriel said was true. 

Josephine’s lip trembled and a tear escaped down her cheek. Slowly, she turned back to Gabriel, her voice breaking on the word, “So?”

“Let her go.”

Josephine dropped her gaze, letting the tears fall in earnest. She looked defeated, Bellamy thought, defeated and scared.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” she began to bargain with him, “These could be our last bodies,” she reached and clung to his hand, “we – we could grow old, _together_.” 

(Bellamy tried not flinch at the word.)

And Gabriel hesitated. Long enough for Bellamy to fear that he might actually listen to Josephine – and if he was being honest, Bellamy couldn’t blame him. He had loved her for centuries, had been separated too many times for too long. Bellamy knew the feeling. 

“Gabriel,” Octavia said from her spot beside Bellamy, giving him a verbal nudge. 

Gabriel cleared his throat, “We had our time, Josie, it’s theirs now.”

Josephine’s cries started loud as they forced their way out of her throat, but she nodded. Bellamy felt the air return to his lungs as Gabriel turned to grab a needle that contained a sedative. Just as Gabriel was about to insert it into Josephine’s forearm, she grabbed him. 

“Gabe,” her lips trembled, and her voice shook as she whispered, “_I’m scared._”

Bellamy watched as Gabriel traced slow circles into Josephine’s forearm as he inserted the needle, “It’s okay, Josie,” A tear slipped out and trailed down the bridge of his nose, “I won’t be far behind you.”

They shared a small smile and before Bellamy knew it, Gabriel had pressed the sedative into her arm. Clarke’s body was unconscious on the cot once again. 

Gabriel cleared his throat and placed the needle back on the table behind him, taking that time to wipe the tears from his cheeks, “I need you to flip her over so I can remove the chip,” he took a beat, staring at both of them intently, “and then I’ll have to restart her heart.”

Bellamy swore his stopped beating in that moment.

“Restart her heart?” Octavia asked incredulously.

Gabriel nodded, “The trauma from removing the chip could cause her heart to give out. The sedative I gave Josephine will cause her heartbeat to lower to a dangerous rate, but I will restart it.”

“You could have told us that before you gave her the sedative.” Bellamy said darkly.

“I know, but it’s the only way to get her back.”

Bellamy crossed his arms and then looked at Octavia who gave him a nod. Wordlessly they both flipped Clarke on her side so that Gabriel could start the procedure. 

After it was done, and Bellamy and Octavia had laid her back down, Gabriel grabbed the shot of adrenaline, “You may want to prepare yourselves, when she comes back – it will be violently.”

Bellamy’s mind flashes to the recording he saw in the lab beneath Sanctum, how Josephine came back screaming and writhing. He takes Clarke’s hand and nods at Gabriel, giving him the go ahead.

Gabriel inserts the adrenaline into Clarke’s chest and has just enough time to take it out before she’s heaving a breath, her eyes shooting open. Gabriel steps back, allowing Octavia to stand by Clarke’s side opposite of Bellamy. Her eyes are frantically searching the room, her breathing erratic, and he can see her mouth working – as if a scream was clawing its way up her throat. 

“Clarke!” He calls, trying to ground her, his voice still hoarse from screaming earlier.

Her head turns towards him but its as if she can’t see him, her eyes searching the space around him. He gives her hand a squeezing and tries again, “Clarke, it’s me, it’s Bellamy, its okay, you’re safe!”

Her body stops shaking and he watches as her eyes focus on him, her eyebrows drawing together, “Bellamy?”

The breath he releases sounds more like a sob and he brings her hand to his lips, “yeah, yeah, it’s me.”

She struggles to sit up, but he helps her, and she collapses into his arms, choking on her cries as she clings to his shirt. His arms come up around her immediately, pulling her in close, his right hand coming up to cradle the back of her head. Tears spill over his eyes and run down his cheeks as he presses a kiss into the side of Clarke’s head. _She’s here, she’s back, she’s alive. _

He was too busy repeated that in his head to realise that between her sobs were words, “I keep seeing it,” she heaved, “Russel, and – and Simone. I’m in the lab and – and,”

Bellamy squeezes her tighter, before pulling away just far enough to move the hand cradling her head to her cheek, “hey, _hey_, you’re not there, you’re safe, I’m here. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you, again.” His own words began to break by the end of his sentence. 

She nodded and he pressed their foreheads together. He heard the retreating footsteps of Octavia and Gabriel as they left the tent, Bellamy only hoped it was to destroy the chip.

Clarke shifted against him and leaned back far enough to look him in the eyes, “You saved my life.”

Bellamy gave a soft chuckle, “yeah, well, you don’t make it easy.” He teased.

They fell into silence again, Clarke coming back to rest her head against Bellamy’s again. Bellamy hated to break it but something had been nagging at him since he left Clarke’s mind space.

“Clarke?” She hummed in response.

He swallowed, “did you, did you mean what you said? Before I left your head?”

She stilled against him, pulling away after a minute with wide eyes. He watched her work through her words in her head, her mouth forming them but never speaking. After a moment she sighed, her shoulders slumping but her eyes sparkled.

“Yes,” she said quietly, “Of course I do.”

Bellamy was at a loss for words. _She loved him._ All these years of him loving her he never thought she’d love him back. And here she was, telling him. She must have taken his silence as rejection because her eyes quickly became guarded and she cleared her throat, looking towards the ground.

“I know you’re with Echo, and I shouldn’t have said it, but I thought I was – “

“Clarke,” he cut off her rambling, pulling her eyes back to his, “I’m not with Echo.”

“You’re not?” her voice was careful.

He had to bite his lip to keep from smiling as he shook his head.

“Oh,” Her cheeks tinged pink, “well…”

He cuts her off again, his voice incredibly soft, “I love you, so much.”

A small smile grew on her lips and she leaned across the short distance to place her mouth on his. Bellamy responded quickly, pulling her closer to him, working his right hand up into her hair. Clarke tried to tug him closer by the collar of his shirt which caused Bellamy to laugh into the kiss. Clarke had just parted her mouth when a voice at the door startled them apart.

“I hate to break this up,” Octavia smiles from the tent flap, “I really do, but we have company.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it!
> 
> I love getting comments so feel free to leave them!
> 
> Come scream with me about bellarke on tumblr (@harpermiller)


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